Repentance

Volume Three—Chapter Four REPENTANCE

#Introduction

As you approach the subject of repentance, you must bear in mind the very purpose of this earth life. It is a probationary estate and a school. The Lord wishes to see if you will follow him by obeying his commandments. Obedience to the Lord’s commands is the key to the quality of your eternal salvation. If you are to achieve a celestial inheritance and exaltation, you must learn to be obedient. He will do all he can, within the limits of this mortal experience, to teach and encourage you to become obedient.

On the etymology of repentance:

The most common Greek words used in the New Testament for “repentance” are metanoeo (the verb), metanoia (the noun), and metamelomai (the present participle). These Greek words usually mean not merely feeling sorry, or changing one’s mind, but a complete alteration of the basic motivation and direction of one’s life. This explains one reason why John the Baptist demanded baptism as an expression of repentance, not just for obvious “sinners,” but for the “righteous” Jews as well. . . . To change one’s mind was to change one’s attitude, and thus to change the actions and even the whole way of life (John M. Lundquist and Stephen D. Ricks, eds., By Study and Also by Faith: Essays in Honor of Hugh W. Nibley on the Occasion of His Eightieth Birthday, 2: 410).

From a practical spiritual standpoint, to repent is essentially to change. This change is a process, not a one-time event. The Lord yearns for you to become a person who is naturally obedient to his commands. He doesn’t want you to have to obey deliberately, grudgingly, grindingly, and with rigorous discipline. He doesn’t want you to barely manage to obey only after exerting great effort. He wishes you to obey because his commandments are who you are in your heart. He would see you become the very epitome of his commandments and his attributes. He wants you to become like him.

#Are Repentance and Obedience the Same?

Whenever we read any type of essay on the concept of repentance, we can expect to encounter a series of steps. In order to repent, one must first do this, then this, then . . .. But are not repentance and obedience the same? Shouldn’t repentance consist of but one simple step—stop sinning and start obeying? Certainly, the essence of repentance is obedience. One important characteristic of sin, however, complicates the one-step paradigm. It is the injury that inevitably results from sin. Repentance (as opposed to obedience) emphasizes the harmful effects of the disobedience, or sin, that preceded obedience. It addresses the damage done before the sinner began to obey. The injury must be addressed. If sin resulted in no harm to anyone, then repentance and obedience would be identical. The injury resulting from sin requires more thoughtful attention than a simple one-step process.

Who is injured? Everyone involved with the sin—the sinner himself, those who associate with the sinner (including those offended by the sinner and those who love and are concerned about him), and even God himself. God loves each of us profoundly and yearns for our return to him. We can only imagine his disappointment, frustration, and anxiety when we commit sin.

The injury caused by sin may be spiritual, emotional, mental, or material. The process of repentance involves the steps necessary to make amends for these injuries—to repair, right, restore, correct, heal, reconcile, apologize for, and compensate for them.

It would seem that any attempt to separate sins into two categories—those that produce injury and those that do not—would fail. Every sin invariably hurts at least the sinner. This damage occurs in the form of cessation of spiritual progress, an intensification of the pulls of the natural man, feelings of guilt and sorrow, assessment of a penalty by the law of justice, and loss of the Spirit. We may assume that some of our sins might have little or no impact on those around us, and for some sins, that might be true. We must not, however, underestimate the emotional impact of our sins in the lives of all those who love and care about us.

#An Expanded View of Repentance

Perhaps we regard the concept of repentance too narrowly. It is more than just resolving to pay a full tithing, or committing oneself completely to the word of wisdom, or ceasing lustful behaviors. While these specific changes are vital, we do not repent on just these few fronts in our lives. Rather, we repent on a thousand fronts. Repentance involves every aspect of our lives. It aims to correct every small imperfection—every small way our lives and character are not in line with the life and character of Savior. Repentance involves identifying and changing all our imperfections.

We should analyze what we must do to become like the Savior. We begin by searching out and acknowledging those many ways in which our natural-man tendencies tend to defeat our wills in minor skirmishes and large battles. The influence of the Spirit of God is often helpful in this quest. One of his assigned missions is to teach you where to begin repenting. The prophet Nephi wrote: “For behold, again I say unto you that if ye will enter in by the way, and receive the Holy Ghost, it will show unto you all things what ye should do” (2 Nephi 32:5). We often make wrong decisions as we respond to the tugs of the world and commit sin (1 John 3:4). Some sins manifest more in thoughts and words than actions. They provide evidence that we lack the gifts or attributes possessed by our Lord. Our deficiencies can be easily recognized.

#The Steps to Repentance

As mentioned previously, we are all familiar with itemized lists of the steps to repentance. The particulars of these lists vary. I’m afraid that I cannot avoid creating yet another such list here. It seems the best way to communicate the process. I will attempt to create a logical, comprehensive list of essential steps:

Recognition of one’s shortcomings instead of rationalization. Each of us who has lived past the age of accountability is guilty of sin. Paul wrote: “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). The apostle John wrote: “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8).

We may divide sins into two categories, those of commission and those of omission. It is easier for us to recognize and acknowledge sins of commission in ourselves. Sins of omission also exist, and each of us is also guilty of these. “All unrighteousness is sin” (1 John 5:17). “To him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin” (James 4:17).

In order to repent, one must have a burning resolve to make amends with God at any cost. The principal barrier to repentance is maintaining an accurate perception of oneself. Thomas Carlyle wrote: “The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none” (McKay, Gospel Ideals, 13). One must avoid rationalization. To rationalize is to self justify. It is to find acceptable reasons and justifications for our sins. It is to deny that they are sins. It is to blame and accuse others. It is to tout mitigating, extenuating, explanatory, justifying circumstances. Those who choose to live a life of denial, to defend themselves against God’s law, will discover the bitter truth: “Your sins have come up unto me, and are not pardoned, because you seek to counsel [rationalize] in your own ways” (D&C 56:14). Rationalization is the intellectual drug that anesthetizes the nagging sting of conscience. Contrast the tendency to rationalize with the prophet Nephi’s lamentation: “O wretched man that I am! . . . My heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted” (2 Nephi 4:17, 19). It is hard to imagine those words from a prophet of God. Nephi’s life was one of devotion and obedience. Yet, he was ever conscious of the distance he yet had to travel to achieve perfection.

The more spiritual an individual becomes, the more sensitive he is to his own imperfections. As he succeeds in repentance, the better he is able to perceive his remaining spiritual foibles. Wickedness alone seldom, if ever, has been the cause of man’s spiritual destruction. The greater tragedy is wickedness coupled with an unwillingness to acknowledge one’s sins and begin the process of repentance. While only major sins need be confessed to a priesthood leader, all sins must be confessed to the sinner himself by the sinner himself. The Lord said to Joseph Smith: “By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:43, italics mine).

Suffering. Scriptures make it clear that if we steadfastly refuse to repent, we must eventually suffer even as the Savior suffered (D&C 19:15-19). This does not

mean, however, there is no suffering if we do repent. President Kimball taught that personal suffering “is a very important part of repentance. One has not begun to repent until he has suffered intensely for his sins” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 88). President Kimball then added: “If a person hasn’t suffered, he hasn’t repented. . . . He has got to go through a change in his system whereby he suffers and then forgiveness is a possibility” (Ibid., 99).

The suffering comes through painfully resisting and overcoming the pulls of our natural self. We have previously referred to this suffering as “internal suffering.”2 This suffering is intensified when others have been injured. The sinner must humble himself, confess, apologize, seek forgiveness, make restitution, and even begin to acquire empathy for those who have been offended. This suffering, intense as it may be, is nevertheless substantially less for the repentant soul than for the unrepentant. The Savior “picks up” part of the burden for those who do repent. This principle is illustrated by a story B. H. Roberts loved to share:

It is related of Lord Byron that when he was a lad attending school, a companion of his fell under the displeasure of a cruel, overbearing bully, who unmercifully beat him. Byron happened to be present, but knowing the uselessness of undertaking a fight with the bully, he stepped up to him and asked him how much longer he intended to beat his friend. “What’s that to you?” gruffly demanded the bully. “Because,” replied young Byron, the tears standing in his eyes, “I will take the rest of the beating if you will let him go” (The Gospel and Man’s Relationship to Deity, 25).

We have learned that suffering serves an important purpose in our spiritual lives. Suffering is not meted out arbitrarily or for purely punitive purposes.3

In the Church we understand that man is not saved or exalted by faith alone but by his own good works. Essentially, the “works” he accomplishes consist of the painful efforts he expends in seeking out and correcting (repenting of) his sins and imperfections.

Godly sorrow. True and complete repentance, particularly for major sins, cannot occur until the sinner recognizes the need for and begins to strive for godly sorrow. For a discussion of this important principle, see chapter 3, Godly Sorrow.

An absolute forsaking. True repentance must always be associated with a new mind and a solemn commitment to make the Lord’s will supreme in our lives—our own passionate, natural desires notwithstanding. This can come only when there exists an unequivocal resolve to put behind us our former ways.

Restitution. Repentance requires a full restitution in the spirit of Zacchaeus, who said, “If I have taken any thing from any man . . . , I restore him fourfold” (Luke 19:8; see also Leviticus 6:4). Such a spirit exuded from Elder Spencer W. Kimball when he was called to the apostleship. What about people he might have offended? Would they resent him? He visited each man with whom he had done business to explain the situation. “I’ve been called to a high position in my Church. I cannot serve in good conscience unless I know my life has been honorable. . . . If there was any injustice I want to make it right, and I’ve brought my checkbook.” Most shook hands and refused to hear any more. A couple of men, however, fancied that in fairness they should have got a few hundred dollars more on certain sales. [Elder Kimball] wrote the checks” (Spencer W. Kimball: Twelfth President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 197).

Material restitution is quite simple. However, other forms can be more complex. Making restitution for sexual sins is most difficult because it is not possible to restore virtue in a physical sense. However, virtue can be restored, at least for the sinner, spiritually through complete repentance and through the power of Christ’s atonement. Restitution may also be made through diligent service to others in the kingdom of God.

Confession. Confession of sins is a necessary first step in all repentance. We may separate confession into two separate categories:

1. Confession to self, to the Lord, and, if appropriate, to the injured party. Public confession may be required if the transgression has been against the public (D&C 42:88-93). Each sin we commit should be confessed. We should maintain a constant surveillance over our own thoughts, words, and actions. We should be ever ready to acknowledge personal wrong doing. There is no sin, large or small, we should fail to acknowledge and confess. Please refer again to our mention of D&C 58:43 above.

2. Confession to a priesthood leader. When should we confess to the Lord’s anointed? We should confess when the sin is major and of such serious magnitude that it may trigger a disciplinary proceeding. Major sins include murder or other serious crimes, incest, open and harmful apostasy, and flagrant or highly visible transgressions against the law of chastity. These may have a bearing upon church membership and must be confessed to ecclesiastical officers such as bishops or stake presidents.

This type of confession may be considered when the sin continues to linger in our mind so that we cannot have peace. David understood this latter condition, as evidenced by his admission, “My sin is ever before me” (Psalm 51:3).

Years of service do not obviate confession. Years of abstinence do not erase its need. One-on-one pleading with the Lord is not a substitute. Somewhere, sometime, somehow we must face the issue, own up to it, and confess to our priesthood leader.

What is accomplished by confession to our priesthood leader? First, we facilitate the repentance process. A thoughtful bishop may provide needed reassurance, encouragement, and hope that the Lord will indeed forgive. He may oversee and encourage the forsaking of sin over a period of time. He may also ensure that proper restitution is made. The priesthood leader also has the responsibility to safeguard the integrity of the Church. The Lord wants a righteous people. It is sometimes necessary to eliminate contaminating influences that have the potential of leading the members astray. Unrepentant predators and hostile apostates may seek to damage susceptible members. These members may require help and protection. “But if he repent not he shall not be numbered among my people, that he may not destroy my people” (3 Nephi 18:31).

Submission of our will to God’s. Our submission to the will of God must be complete and unqualified, not hesitant and halfhearted. C.S. Lewis perceived this truth:

Christ says, “Give me all. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don’t want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked—the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: My own will shall become yours” (Mere Christianity, 153).

There is no greater example of submitting one’s will to the Father than that of the Savior himself. He is the consummate model of submission and obedience. In his hour of greatest trial, he pled with the Father to let the cup pass from him. It did not. Christ gave his all. He drank of the bitter cup to the dregs, according to the Father’s will (3 Nephi 11:10-11; D&C 19:16-19, 24).

True and abiding happiness, leading eventually to complete freedom and exaltation, is found only in yielding to the enticements of the Spirit and acknowledging, as did the Savior, “Father, thy will be done and the glory be thine forever” (Moses 4:2).

#Another Meaning of Repentance

At the time of our conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ, we bring to our baptism a willingness to enter into a covenant to repent of our sins and obey the Lord’s commands. By virtue of this willingness to repent, the Lord is willing, at the moment of

our baptism, to extend to us a forgiveness of our sins—he justifies us. This justification is given on the strength of our willingness to repent and obey and not because of our actual repentance and obedience. This nearly gratuitous justification is a one-time event, as all further justification is earned only through our step-by-step repentance. At the time of our conversion and baptism, we say that we “repent” and are baptized. What we actually do is enter into a covenant to obey, and we refer to this commitment and covenant as our “repentance.”

#Is There a Difference Between “Sin” and “Spiritual Inadequacy”?

Let us suppose an individual finds himself painfully shy, so much so that he is unable to express the affection and love he feels for those around him. We are reluctant to regard his diffidence as sinful. Yet it is an obstacle that stands in the way of his spiritual progress. He is impaired in his ability to express his feelings of concern for others. He may be cowed by others and unwilling to insert himself into their lives. Other examples of spiritual inadequacies might have their origins in limited intellectual function or in significant deficiencies in self concept or self esteem. The difference between sins and spiritual inadequacies is sometimes rather tenuous.

As an individual strives to be obedient, his capacity to do so may be limited by his inadequacies. One can certainly repent of one’s sins, but is it possible to repent of one’s inadequacies? As an individual strives within his own capacities to keep the Lord’s commands, we may expect the Lord to eventually improve and expand his capacities and remove his limitations.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen wrote:

Inadequacy is not the same as being sinful—we have far more control over the choice to sin than we may have over our innate capacity. . . . A sense of falling short or falling down is not only natural but essential to the mortal experience. Still, after all we can do, the atonement can fill that which is empty, straighten our bent parts, and make strong that which is weak (The Broken Heart, 19-20).

When an “inadequate” or “insufficient” individual repents and acquires enough of the spiritual gift of charity, he will be strengthened and emboldened by the Lord. To repent is to change. The effort provided by the individual is rewarded in the form of spiritual gifts bestowed by the Lord by virtue of his atoning blood. The result is a new individual, a little more like God. As we repent we are altered in every detail until we eventually come to be like our Savior. While we would certainly classify our Lord as humble, he is hardly shy.

#Repentance Is a Sacred Gift

Repentance to the point of forgiveness of sins is possible only because of the Lord’s atonement. Samuel the Lamanite taught that the opportunity to repent was brought to pass by the atonement of Jesus Christ (Helaman 14:18). If there had been no atonement, there would be no opportunity to repent. The reason is simple. The law of justice holds that if a man commits one sin, he is unworthy to enter the celestial kingdom or any degree of glory. Relying only on his own merit and devices, he is forever locked out of any degree of glory. Had the Savior not suffered in Gethsemane and on the cross, each of us would have languished forever in outer darkness (2 Nephi 9:8-9). Because he suffered, he is empowered to justify us, to forgive us of our sins.

We now have the opportunity to be rescued. What a blessed opportunity this is for each of us. We ought to be willing to do anything in return.

1 We have previously discussed the association of suffering and sin and suffering and godly sorrow. See “What Are the Individual Features of this Supernal Gift?” in chapter 3, Godly Sorrow. See also “The Suffering of Guilt and Remorse” and “What of the Suffering in Hell” in chapter 2, The Roles of Suffering in Our Lives.

2 See “How Might We Categorize Adversity and Suffering?” in chapter 1, Adversity and Suffering.

3 See “Is Suffering Ever Purely Punitive?” in chapter 1, Adversity and Suffering.

4 See volume 1, chapter 17, Justification and Sanctification.